Ok… So most of you reading the title were probably on some
“what the fuck is this guy talking about?!!” hahaha I don’t blame you but let
me state my case before you mentally crucify me ok?!Thank you…
*clears throat*
So ok, I’m 26 now, single, busy, on the move and fucking
loving every minor detail of this madness we call existence or reality. I mean
shit! How is amazing is this place and the fact that I exist! Like I’m fucking
here with all this beauty and uncertainty that surrounds me on a daily and wow!
Sure most people hate life and stuff but I’ve seen that it’s a matter of
perspective but ANYWAY that’s not why you are here is it? So let me get
straight to the point.
So I look back at the past 6/7 years of my life and think
back to university life and all the craziness that went into it. I think back
to all the amazing girls I had the privilege of meeting and “interacting” with
and I think wow, how amazing were they. I hardly speak to anyone of them now
sadly enough. No, they’re probably all over me now, getting their life
together, met new guys and preparing for the marriage and the kids thing (Drake
– Club Paradise). Some of them already have kids and I think I should use this
moment to publicly congratulate them for whatever positive fruits their lives
have bared. I never thought we’d be strangers but hey, life is different for
all of us and that’s just how the story goes, and each one of them added
something dramatically significant to my life and for that I owe them a huge
thank you. When I take my moments to stalk them and see that they are touching
lives in their corners of life I smile and think “yup your energy made sense to
me.” It’s funny how all of the girls I used to really be into all end being
something great with followers behind them (nothing to brag about, but like
attracts like and greatness knows greatness so hey).
So now I’m at a stage in my life where I feel like I’m doing
it man. Nothing is as amazing as to know that you are running you own race and
you’re the one that will be 1st 2nd and 3rd
and go home with all the medals. You get to a point where you don’t care who’s
watching, who’s clapping and how many laps you have left, no. All you care
about is where you are going and the fact that you’re smiling everyday step of
the way with the most amazing souls around you. This sort of life requires a
person to spend a fuckload of time with oneself away from the world and society
until you find who the fuck you are regardless of time and space and that’s what’s
happened to me. Taking a chance and starting my own company has proven to be
the best decision I ever made. Not much since I can remember ever challenged
me, I was always the type people hated at school because I didn’t care and made
the shit they worried about seem so effortless, but hey maybe I should thank my
IQ of 143 for that I guess. Starting my own company is what I needed to throw
my enormous energy into and that has stretched my limits beyond what I can ever
begin to express on any written piece. That all comes with a lot of wisdom and
a reality switch up though, and that’s the shit nobody will tell you. So things
like dating are ordinarily affected and ill explain.
Woman in and around me
So ok, being an alpha male means that you ordinarily attract
women and that’s how the story goes. I’ve never been one to never attract
quality women in my life; and it’s not a game thing but I think it’s more an
energy thing. Women have always been drawn to me and that I could never help,
it just made choosing one extremely hard. I’m not the best looking guy on the
planet but I’m faaaar off from the ugliest guy on the planet at least lol! I’ve
seen that women more than anything simply are attracted to a guy that can
understand them, is intelligent and has an exciting personality. You have to
understand as a guy that women are more in tune with nature and energy than we
are which is why I think that God has to be a woman and Eve was first here and
then Adam. I mean there’s no way God made the universe one thing at a time,
NOOO, an ability to multitask was necessary haha (see what I did there?!). Anyway,
ya, women are on some other tip and they have so much going inside them that hormonally,
it only makes sense why they are all over the place and that’s why they seek to
be understood and entertained in order remove them from the terror of their
thoughts and their sworn enemy; the thoughts and opinions of other women!!
The sad thing for women in around me now is that I feel they
all want the same thing. It’s like there’s some life whirlpool that is
converging them all to the same place. The outgoing, fun, sexual, and free spirited
girl is replaced with the serious, career building, husband seeking and child
producing woman. You eventually find out as a guy that making out and sex is no
longer as “free” as it used to be. Every sexual encounter always has to lead to
something monogamous. It’s no longer about how attractive you are as a guy, but
it’s more about what suitable long term mate you make. I’m not saying we shouldn’t
change with the times but I can’t help feel like these girls all traded their
partying and alcohol for Jesus and tea overnight!! I would have no issue if it
was one or two, but man it’s all/most of them.
For me, I can’t stand being bored. That’s one thing I think
life was never supposed to be I think. If you look at nature, you never see
boredom, no that shit is always buzzing and moving without rules or regulations
and one thing I can’t stand for the life of me is a boring individual
especially when it comes to girls. So no these girls I used to know are all too
serious now and are blood thirsty for marriage and stability and you really can’t
blame them hey, to each his own.
Life
If you look at life in its entirety, you’ll notice a lot of
causal relationships and that is what sits behind our decision making as a
whole, but people seldom look at those until someone crazy like me comes
around. Have you as a person ever asked yourself why you are doing what you’re
doing and why you want the things that you want? Most people never do… When you
ask people that, they always seem to look at you with confusion in their eyes as
if you asked them a question like “what time was it when time began?” hahaha
that one is also a bit of a mind fuck but you catch my drift. The best answer I
ever received was “I don’t know, I think we want and do these things because we
were taught to want and do them because it’s not like we knew of these things
as children.” Booom!! I loved that answer.
I look at woman these days and I guess I see their rush and
desire for marriage and stability and I really don’t blame them. They’re told that
their clocks are ticking, parents want grandchildren, there could be a
recession at any time and they don’t want to be the only single one in the
group hey (yup women in groups put pressure on each other). Nope, they all want
to brag about how better their man is and shit. Maybe it’s all true; I mean
their bodies have been literally begging them monthly to reproduce since they
were 13 and life is also quite hard to be honest, and this has to do a lot with
finances and I see that marriage is a sound financial strategy. It also makes
sense to bring children up in a proper household and that’s what women also
want and that’s also ok. That’s all what society wants from us; career,
marriage, house, kids and that happily ever after.
The sad thing however is that in
real life, this is not the case. According to the UN stats division, in the
OECD countries, most women get married between the ages of 24 and 32 whereas
men get married between the ages of 27 and 36 which makes their combined median
age to get married between age 26 and 34. Reports indicate that between 1970
and 2010, that the divorce rate has increased to a median of 33%. This means
that 3 in every 10 marriages have a chance to fail in the first 5 years. The average
marriage lasts 8-15 years and what these people are basically saying that
marriages are failing shrug their shoulders after and it’s just one of those
things we must accept. They still can’t admit they’ve built a broken and
inhumane system but hey, this report doesn’t include the died-out marriages
that have no life left in them and I think if it did; the whole report would be
far more interesting but we all know they don’t want such truths out hahaha!
I’m not at all against marriage but to go back to causality,
I’ve seen we humans are designed to change and alter our minds, consciousness and
our desires and I think marriage doesn’t account for that simply because that
there’s two people involved. I know for a fact a fact who I was five years ago
and who I am now are two different people. If you don’t believe me go to your
FB profile pics from 5 years ago and see that hideous person with no style. We
change! And I hate to break it to you but this will not stop until we die. In five
years you’ll be looking at your pics you’re taking today and think eeeeeu again!
And I see why most marriages will fail, apart from the fact that biologically
men were never meant to be monogamous creatures but that’s a story for another
day.
Once again I emphasize that exceptions do exist but not
everyone can be an exception and that’s a fact, nobody tells you this kind of
shit but I’m not afraid to do so. But big ups to the exceptions out there, the
people who married their best friends, I totally believe in that shit. Best
friends change with each other.
About me
So let’s bring it back to me since I’m the subject of this
here formula. My view on everything is simple. I feel like no person can do
what someone else has done and hope to do it in the same way and achieve
similar results. We all know we are all endowed with different gifts, realities
and journeys but we don’t live life like that. No, we want everyone to somehow
be like us. If someone wants to do something different we socially chastise
them. Yup, I’ve always said I love humans but I hate people.
Nothing is life is ever constant except change but all the
models of the world don’t include these things in their life instructions. I’ve
always said that for someone to really be happy in life, they have to make life
their own. I’m sorry if this isn’t a very tasty truth to taste but that’s a
fact. You can’t live my life or try being me or anyone else and expect to feel
what I/they feel. You gotta make everything in life your own. It’s funny how we
accepted similar school uniforms but can’t stand arriving to an event to see
someone else dressed the same as we are (that’s a free thought). But with life
you can’t wear a mental uniform, you gotta mentally tailor make this shit.
When it came to women I’ve been with, everything was always
cool and fun. I mean I have had the most life changing relationships (excusive
and non exclusive) with women. Like I’m talking young, old; rich, poor; short,
long distance; local, international; black, white & everything in between;
and the list goes on. All these relationships always ended because the
whirlpool effect came into play after a while and they wanted stability and all
that stuff I mentioned above and I do understand where they were coming from. I
guess it was that “we weren’t on the same page shit.” Ya ok.
And it always wasn’t about the whirlpool effect (I actually
created a new theory here lol!), because
even though I’d like to think I’m a great guy, I am pretty much fucked up too.
I’m sometimes impatient, I’ve never been an average person and never will be, I
posses high energy, I love being around women which means I have a lot of girl-friends
which has always been an issue for girls I’ve been with. I feel I’m sometimes
too passionate of an individual, I have a short or long temper depending on
circumstance, I feel I can be manipulative at times, I think I’m always right
and I think at times my intelligence works against things because I tend to
over analyze everything. Plus I love my space and am sometimes too spontaneous,
yup I’m a typical fire sign, Aries to be exact and as much as I know I’m
extremely fun to be around, I also feel I’m not marriage material at this
stage. Maybe it’s because I have sooooo much to do still or I feel I’m too
passionate for the settled down life or maybe I really can’t choose one woman
to be with, yup. I’m greedy as fuck and these are things I still have to work
on I guess.
Rather I be honest with all
this shit, because in life we like acting perfect when perfection really doesn’t
exist but because “perfection” is just a collective consciousness focal point
which always changes and stuff. That’s me, a fucked up single individual who
somehow loves this life thing to death and is a ball of too much wisdom that
came too early for his own good.
My hot divorced “bae”
So now that I’ve explained myself and my ways it’s time to extrapolate
things further to make my point.
I’ve had some interesting conversations with divorced women and
they’ve always been so fucken eye opening even though they’ve mostly been old.
This is why is used the word “hot” in my description. I’ve heard 2 resonating
and consistent stories from them as to why the divorce happened. The first was
always the story of another woman who was mostly younger, more attractive and
more exciting. The second story which was more interesting to me, was the women
who experienced a chance in herself and ultimately her marriage and became too
ambitious for her husband and vice versa. It seemed that this was spurred on by
that mid-life crisis and menopause shit. They admitted that the flame had died
and the routine killed things and in hindsight they see this. I seldom hear of
regrets though except from the ones who experienced infidelity. It was a
learning experience.
Both outcomes have produced a different kind of woman that is
not the same as the one who felt the whirlpool effect but the woman who has
simply been spit out of it. Bear in mind that most women will allow their men
to be the main providers in a marriage and thus limit their ambition until the
shit hits the fan. I met a 55 year old lady who I’ll call Athena here, who had been
a housewife all her life, didn’t study or pursue any ambitions of her own because
she thought that she was just supposed to be a wife and mother. She told me
that 30 years into the marriage she found out that there had been another secret
woman and family on the side for most of her marriage and that shattered her
whole life. The guy took everything (children too) and left her without a cent and
that’s where life began for her, at 50 with no qualifications. Needless to say,
she eventually learnt to be strong and started a company and 5 years later she
owns a cancer cosmetic company that’s worth $800k last I checked and she’s
getting ready to export to other countries from South Africa. The truth is that
you never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have.
I think everyone’s dreams are valid and I’ve noticed such a
different energy about divorced women. It’s like they’ve been given a second
chance at life and don’t want to take it for granted and are as a result
realize that they’ve done all the bullshit life has required them to do and now
see that life is all about what you choose to make it. They understand that
even though they are alone with children, they have to be strong. They have no
deep desire to get married again because they somehow understand that marriage
is nothing but a glorified relationship and is not the end all and be all to
life but would be open to it if it really means so much to the other party.
These women want life partners/companions as opposed to husbands. They have
this new ambition and they seem happier and realize somehow that they need to
do what they’ve always wanted to do; I think the new found freedom is somewhat euphoric
and I can imagine it to be so. This made me look at my parents who are also
divorced and they are actually much happier than they were when they were
married which has been beautiful to see after the divorce process they had.
So ya
I’ve always possessed an innate ability to somehow know
whether something was for me or not without having to experience it first. This
is because I’ve always interacted with my environment and realized I didn’t have
to make all the mistakes myself but I could learn from people’s mistakes as
well as my own. I guess I just feel I want to date a woman who isn’t fazed by
the whirlpool effect, has been through life and sees the bigger picture and not
the picture that has been put in front her eyes. I guess I want a woman that isn’t
trying to make me just enough to handle and isn’t taken/intimidated by my
energy. This all might change because that’s one thing about life I’ve learnt to
embrace but for now that’s what I think I want. I think that there’s more to
life than just to reproduce although once again this view might change but I feel
there’s already 7 billion motherfuckers on this planet already and I don’t want
to add to the traffic yet you know. I also have accepted that I’m a hyper
active 5 year old kid mixed with a Plato, Buddha, Nikola Tesla, Steve jobs and Alan
watts in one little body so I’m quite a weird affair hahaha! I think after the
struggle of getting our company up and running one can focus on neglected areas
and just have fun. More than anything I guess I’m open to new holistic
experiences and that’s why I think I want to be with a hot divorced woman/bae.
Drake – “Lust for life”
T.I. Ft Rihanna – “Live your life”
Drake – “Club Paradise”
J Cole – “Love Yourz”
Miguel – “Where’s the fun in forever”
John Mayer – “Belief”
John Mayer – “New deep”
Drake – “From time”
