I sit here and look back at my life with the assistance of
my journal and I’m absolutely blown away by what a different direction my life
took as opposed to where I was 3 or 4 years back. The funny thing is that I feel
as though I've left so many clues for myself over time in the form of the first
book I wrote, my notes on Facebook and my journals. People will ask me how I changed
my life from being the student who was failing at university for just finding
far more interesting things to do even deciding not to write some of my exams
to running a company and being flown all over the world for free, inventing
things, writing and speaking where I do. Clearly something in my life has
triggered a change and that has brought me to the new me; the person full of
life and who’s awake to all the wonderful possibilities that have always right sat
in front of my eyes.
I went to like 4 different universities/colleges in South
Africa and at some point I wanted to go to Harvard and I guess make it number 5
on my university/college infidelity but that didn’t happen. I remember in 2009
when I was at home after being kicked out twice by the University of the Witwatersrand
because they figured I had massive potential but didn’t care but they were
right. I remember being at home for the first 6 months of 2009 thinking what a
big fuck up I’ve made of my life and it broke me down. How did I go from being
an “A” student in school to being what they labeled me as a failure in varsity?
How did I squander the law degree, engineering degree and business degree that I
tried to study?? Tears couldn’t even begin to express what I was going through
and to make it all worse, my parents were getting divorced and the girl I was
dating at the time decided to lie to me and secretly see her ex while being
with me so I was alone. How the fuck did I get to where I am now?? That’s been
my question. It was a totally dark place that only seemed to get darker and
darker. How did I get back into the university that kicked me out twice, to
finally finish a degree even though I hated the education system? How did I apply
myself, fight my way to where I am to completing the degree, deciding not to
even attend the graduation all the way to coming up with insane ideas and see
those closest to me achieve their dreams concurrently with my mine?? All these
things came down to one thing and that is the
quality of my thoughts and the
attitude they formed in me that then influenced my decisions, actions and then
finally my life.
What was happening to me?
“Your attitude determines your altitude” – I don’t know
2009 was the worst year of my life but in hindsight, it was
the greatest gift I ever received making it the worst best year of my life.
There’s a Tswana saying (which is a language in South Africa) that says: “Lefatshe
ema, ire ke fuluge…” this means, “World stop, let me get off.” What happened to
me was that I got off the ride the world and society was taking me on and I had
to fend for myself. I had to unlearn all the programmes I was taught because
they no longer served me; I was a failure according to them. I had to learn to
harness the creativity the school system didn’t kill in me and somehow use it.
I was discovering who the fuck I was and what the fuck I was brought here to
be/do. I was being taught to take control of my mind, my thoughts and
ultimately my life, yet I didn’t know it at the time. Steve jobs did say one can only connect the dots looking backwards,
not looking forward.
What did I do?
In the same way doctor’s study further in order to specialize,
I was studying myself and the inner power I possessed and then learnt to harness
it and redirect it to an object of my choosing. I read book after book, changed
what I was watching, studied the stories of successful people and decided to
give myself a chance. I took a risk and invested in myself. I remember reading
a quote which said: “do something today
that your future self will thank you for.” And that was what was happening.
I learnt to become productive, and I’m in no way using the word in its watered
down form. I made sure I was always producing something, I made sure I was
always “pregnant” and as a result, always giving “birth” to something, by
bringing ideas to some form of physical manifestation. It didn’t matter to me
whether the “baby” was worthwhile or not, I was always giving birth to
something that affected reality somehow. Just to let the idea universe know
that I could be trusted. I wrote a 406 page book called #LifeLoveWhatever which
got rejected because I was apparently too young to write and other bullshit
they told me. I put up videos on YouTube expressing my thoughts on life and
shit. I always wrote a “business plan” for ideas I had even though I always
ended up at road blocks but hey, I remained pregnant and in labour and I had no
time for “mental contraception.” I taught my left hand how to write because I wanted
to prove to myself that anything is possible and that journey has now turned
into a second book called “From right to
left”. I decided to fight my way back to school because I now looked at
school as a constructive place to waste time while I figured out what I wanted
to do. I mean who wouldn’t want to be around hot girls, conversations and free
internet???
My book "cover" for my first book written in 2011.
The book manuscript. 2011
Printed many sheets like this with quotes and pasted them all over my room.
I was reading some weird shit.
Day 1 of writing with my left hand in 2012.
A few months later. I even answered a section in my final exam using my left hand haha!
How did I make it through school, while always being “Pregnant”?
Here’s something sobering; WE ALL HAVE 24 HOURS IN A DAY.
The difference is in how YOU choose to spend it. How you chose to spend your
time will determine what your life turns out to be. I was sleeping 3 to 4 hours
juggling school, some club activation job I had, writing, recording YouTube
videos, reading books and articles. I wasn’t spending too much time with people
or partying and so time for a girlfriend wasn’t there although I was having
stupid amounts of sex but you can’t be great if you can’t at least get laid, we
have to be honest. I developed a bit of a drinking a habit to allow myself to
cope with it all but I managed my time effectively and my life just adapted I guess.
My mind was running my body.
The alcohol thing was pretty intense.
How did I know I was on the right track??
I DIDN’T!!!! Coco Chanel said: “Many things stop mattering when one stops trying to be something and
starts trying to be someone.” I just knew that I was trying to be someone
now and somehow someway, you learn to activate and listen to your intuition and
instincts because they already know who you want to be and they produce feedback
for you in the form of some really good feeling regardless of what you’re going
through. It’s like that feeling before an exam that determines how much of your
work you know and that feeling after that tells you whether you passed or not
and determines how much you were now going to bother Jesus with your prayers
haha!! The truth is that you don’t know, but somehow you know… It’s weird but that’s
the best I can say for now.
Was it scary??
Hell fucken yes!! I mean look at it this way, I was the only
blueprint of a blueprint I was trying to be that didn’t exist. That shit scares
you. You wake up In the middle of the night because it takes thaaaat amount of
thinking about your dream in order to produce the right amount of energy to the
universe so that the universe can return it back as an experience. Everything
is about energy. Without proper thought projection and energy production, one
cannot create the reality one wishes to experience. People don’t understand and
they call you crazy but that’s also how you know that you’re on the right
track. If people love what you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong sadly. People
have been taught what to praise in society and also what to socially crucify.
And they’ve been bred to socially crucify anyone’s self awakening but it then
comes down to your consistency and determination. Eventually they stop laughing
at you and they let you be as long as you accept your label as weird or crazy.
The trick is to cut negative people off quickly; they will kill your dream quickly
with their negativity.
How long did it take??
From 2009 to now has been *as I do the maths*……………………5
years!!! Half a decade hey.
Was it worth it??
I’m going to write a post called “The opportunity cost of
following your dreams” after this post because that requires a post of its own.
So what
was the outcome?
The outcome of this whole journey is the fact that I’m free
now. They say freedom is expensive which pretty ironic but it’s true. I live in
a world where I see the opportunities in front of me jumping up and down for me
to pick them. They are all over; my mind sees them all now and also gives me
ways of how to see them through to completion. I get to wake up when I want,
only schedule meetings between 10am and 2PM. Travel for free, get paid to speak
and can have the privilege of seeing whatever thoughts I have come to life.
There’s no meeting that we’re in that the word “million” isn’t included when discussing
financial matters. I’m seeing my friends’ dreams come true slowly but surely
and I’m sharing all the shit that I’ve learnt with everyone because knowledge
is power and it’s powerful when applied and passed on. Oh and I can use both
hands to write now, which is pretty cool! I remember a poem by called Ulysses,
and in that poem the poet says “I’ve been
a part of everything that I’ve seen” and that’s what I strive now, to be a
part of everything I encounter. This whole life thing is fun and ima live it
till I die.
I get to be cool.
REALLY cool.
I get to hang on rails.
I get to make shit.
Think ima even get back to breakdancing.
My job basically now.
Conclusion
I’m happy!! *insert Pharell song*
decided to even take a selfie. This is the new me!
Advice
Life gives us one gift which is time and society gives us 2
gifts which are money and freedom. Now how it works is pretty simple. You’re
told you can only have 2 of the 3 at a time and so when you’re a teenager you
have time and freedom but no money, so you’re only ready to trade. When you
work, you have time and money but no freedom and so you look forward to “retiring.”
When you finally retire, you have money and freedom but have sadly run out of
time. They don’t teach you that you can have all 3. I always say people who
claim you can’t have it all didn’t try hard enough and those are just excuses
that they tell themselves so make them feel better about their lives. Excuses are
nothing but lies wrapped up in reasons. The truth is that you have to learn to
take control of your mind. Your thoughts determine your decisions/actions which
then determine your results. We are all where we are today because of the
decisions and actions we’ve taken that stemmed from our thoughts, and this then
means that 2 years from now we will be exactly where our thoughts lead us.
Your thoughts determine your friendships; your friendships
determine your conversations and your conversation determine your life. It all
stems from your thoughts. To enhance your life you need to enhance your actions
and your thoughts. This means yes, YOU HAVE TO ENHANCE YOUR MIND!! If you think
small, you act small and your results will be small. If you think BIG, your
actions will be BIG and so too your results. There’s no real secret to success
or anything major or genetic, all you have to do is read and enhance your mind.
Only 5% of the population reads at least one book a month and the rest wonder
why they are where they are. You don’t see with your eyes, you see with your
mind. They say that if you change the way you look at things, the things you
look at change. What happened here? You’ll see the same shit but you’ll respond
differently. I stopped looking at university as a cemetery and started looking
at it as a constructive place to waste time while I figured shit out and all I had
to do to earn an extra year was to pass. When I finally figured it out, I decided
to load all my courses in one year (they said I was crazy and nobody had done
so many courses and that I was going to fail and they also added my track
record but I fucked all the courses up and told them to keep the degree). We
can agree that the university stayed the same but I’m the one who changed how I
viewed it.
Stay away from small minded people, they will kill your
ambition and confine your mind into small enclosures.
Freedom is expensive as ironic as that sounds but it’s true.
You have to be willing to go into the dark where it’s cold and lonely to find
yourself and discover all the sub-atomic and sub-molecular particles that you’re
made of. When you realize that the same shit that creates Jupiter is the same
shit you’re made of, you can’t help but have a sick smile. When you find out
who you are, nobody impresses you and everything falls into place. Embrace the
dark and say to yourself “Lefatshe ema, iri ke fuluge” but most importantly you
have to read! If 95% of people don’t read a book a month, all you have to do to
be different is to read one book a month, nothing major JUST READ A BOOK A
MONTH!! Imagine if you read 2 or 3 a month. Your mind affects your attitude and
your attitude determines your altitude. I read like 10 articles a day and like
5 books a month, and have been doing so for years now so best believe I’m a
totally weird human being but hey. Remember, ALWAYS PRODUCE, ALWAYS HAVE
UNPROTECTED SEX WITH YOUR MIND AND GIVE BIRTH!! You can’t reap unless you’ve
sown, and I’ll even go as far as using words from the Bible:
“Go yea therefore and multiply” – Somewhere in Genesis. (See it’s
even in the Bible)
“Mighty is he who can control others, but even mightier is he that has
mastered himself” – Lao Tzu
Also note that what you read when you don’t have to, will
determine who you will be when you can’t help it.
What a journey!!! Grateful...
Here’s an epic read!!
A drake song as I always do.
Drake ft Lil Wayne – “HYFR”
Drake – “How about now”
Drake – “6 God”
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