This might be long, I honestly got carried away so my bad if you feel that it’s long, but understand that I write books hey so ummm ya let’s carry on…
As a guy, you're either about to have an "aha" moment or you will agree because it would then mean you're a real nigga & not a bitch nigga. Real niggas have thought about the things I’m about to share.
Warning: Please also don't read this if you're happy in an [engagement] & are planning to get married to your amazing girl. This note is for men in the battle of Troy.
I said stop reading!! Ok cool, not my fault what you decide…
Note: Bear also in mind that I'm not an angry individual or anything silly like that. I love life & happily unapologetic about it, so (((BOOM))). I've also had great relations & connections with girls throughout my life regardless of the turn out, I know they can attest to it. I'm a great guy & they know it too. So this note isn't anything against them or about them but just some observations my busy mind has reminded me of. It's simply a generalization which means that exceptions do exist. This note is for my niggas out there in the struggle.
I write this because I've realized that guys aren't equipped in terms of knowledge when it comes to girls. Double standards and society has made us accept certain things about our opposite counter parts without us questioning or analyzing shit. I just understand girls & their psyche & I think every guy out there should for their own protection. But let me share.
Firstly let me start off with some statistics just to bring [reality] into perspective:
I think it’s important that you know that 95% of people
eventually get married, (yay!)
Or that 95% of the country practices pre-marital sex,
Or that only 14% of men are over 6 feet tall.
And 5% makes over a million rand per annum.
(Where I got all that, I read!! something more guys should do)
Anyway... hopefully statistics have helped set the tone. Now, what we as guys must understand is that women are smarter than us, some of them know it but most don't. Have you ever stopped to think how much research girls actually do on us? How many magazines are out there for women talking about you guessed it!! Us?! Cosmo, Glamor, Elle & the list goes on, oh & don't forget horoscopes (I don't know why but that shit is 80% accurate). While we're outchea reading business books, watching sport, playing Fifa and what not, they are studying us & gathering intel on us, their enemy. In Sun Tzu's art of war he says: "know yourself & know your enemy & you will always come out victorious." Yup my point about them being better is proved, because there are no magazines for us to learn about them, why? Because we have egos, pride & never want to admit weakness, which exacerbates our lack of strength in this regard. Guys learn by experience & great mates around them, while the rest are lost to doing the buying drinks thing & seeking approval from these viciously equipped women. But let’s move on, the introduction is done...
Let's introduce a concept called the "Sexual market value" (it measures desirability) or SMV, yup your Ecos 1 just got awakened. I wish I could put a graph here but bear with me. I want you to understand that a girls SMV starts at 16 and increases gradually & peaks at 20, 21 before it declines & drops a whole lot by the time she's around 25. This is because of 2 reasons, they simply lose their hotness (bodies change preparing for motherhood), & new entrants to the female market with higher SMV’s makes them old meat & they simply can't compete. By age 28 they exit the market by force. Remember that their clocks have been ticking and they will at this stage probably have kids. Drake did say “I guess life sometimes forces us to calm down.”
Guys on the other hand have their SMVs start properly at about 21; increase gradually, flattening and then increasing again to peak at about 32 at which it then decreases (at a slow rate) & plateaus till they exit at about 60 & then turn into those creepy old men. Now let's go deeper.
--- Enter Newton’s 3rd law of motion, about action & reaction. ---
I think what’s important to note is that the older you get as a guy, you don't all of a sudden only form an attraction base for girls your age, as we've been duped to believe. You still are attracted to younger girls, so if girls have high SMVs in their early 20s.... yup you guessed it. Older guys go for the younger girls but don't date them. They will mostly date mature women but will definitely sleep with loads of younger girls whose attention we’re trying to get and keep. How do they do it? They provide a lifestyle for these high SMV’d girls that they buy into (will explain this later when I talk about attraction bases). Have you seen how many of these girls you were in varsity with, with a similar financial limitation (being a student), could always afford dresses and these crazy social lives being out weekend after weekend? Yup! Them older niggas who have high SMVs that own clubs and all these companies they work for were gripping those brawds with high SMVs you were busy trying to wife or pull a Gatsby for. Newton 3 at its best & you honestly would have no idea about it all. Once again, some girls did get their own or had rich dads but don’t get caught up in that for now.
It's also important to note that it is highly likely that a 23 year old girl has probably had more sexual partners than a guy that age & did it in secret. Yup whenever a guy tells you his number, divide it by 3. When a girl tells you her number, multiply it by 3. Haven't you always found it strange that women always say they've been only been with like 3-5 guys ALWAYS! It's extremely rare you find women who admit their true sexual prowess and I absolutely appreciate those girls who don’t bullshit. These girls I speak of are the hot desirable girls that guys like being seen with, the 7s, 8s, 9s & 9.5s (There can be no 10). These insanely hot girls are always invited out to all these gatherings; gym, exclusive parties, clubs, lounges, some are even flown out to God knows where etc meeting highly SMV’d guys and what happens?? GQOOOOM!! Money is means hey...
They can't even help themselves. Why? Because as a guy you tend to eventually know how to press a woman’s attractive switches. & with the crazy amount of bitch niggas out there it's safe to assume they can't resist an outlier of a guy with a high SMV & knows his shit. So these girls are having more sex than you can imagine, then want to come tell you with your low SMV’d self that their number is 5, only because they want to preserve what you think of them. I asked my friends a question the other day; “Men, how many beds does a girl sleep in other than her own in a year compared to guys (not talking about family or friends)??”. They looked at me and said “many!!” Every guy goes out subconsciously to meet a girl. Some go out with intentions to take a girl home, some hope to & a lot (with high SMVs) actually succeed. I think on a subconscious level, girls probably do the same, but they’ll have to confirm that with me (I don’t know everything!). It's actually impossible that their numbers can be as low as they claim especially if they've been single. Girls who date a lot actually keep their numbers low because girls don't really cheat like guys do. Guys cheat because of opportunity and it really doesn’t mean anything to us. But the girls who are single & are "exclusive" with at least 3 guys in a year make it obvious as to how their numbers can sky rocket during their high SMV’d years ( & bear in mind those older guys don’t want to date them). Think about it this way, [Every time a guy has sex, a girl has sex, so if one groups numbers increase, the other also increases, they are indeed, perfect complementary interactions.] I always ask girls a question that makes them Mal-function for a bit: “Who’s better? A girl who sleeps with 10 random guys in a year, or a girl that dates 10 different guys in a year and sleeps with them all?” Try it out, the responses are always funny. But anyway, what I realized is that girls only include sexual encounters they COUNT as a sexual encounter. So they’ll always include guys they dated and exclude the one night stands they shouldn’t have had, her best friends boyfriend or ex and the list goes on... but I think it’s good to never ask a girl you’re with, what her number is, she’ll most probably lie to you.
So now how does it all work?? It’s important to understand that girls and guys with high SMV’s have more than many options which means they always have someone ready to call. When Beyonce sang “Irreplaceable, to the left, to the left wada wada wada...” SHE WASN’T LYING! Girls with high SMVs can have you replaced easily especially if you become complacent or simply just aren’t exciting enough. The funny thing is that girls will always keep backup guys around in their lives in case things go bad for them. You know that girl who keeps calling you at random times who thinks you’ll do anything for her when she needs you. She does it just to remain relevant in your life, nobody wants someone to get over them, even if they don’t wanna be with you. I call this the landing strip theory, basically that guy they keep around, feed him just enough to stick around in case they need an emergency landing strip. Guys in their early 20s are behind because they have a limited access to resources (once again, money is means) and their SMV only starts to increase rapidly the more they progress in terms of their career i.e. money.
After girls have peaked, have had a couple of sexual experiences and dropped in terms of their SMV, they become all serious, career orientated, turn to God and church (to become reformed hoes) and seek marriage and hopefully try lock that bad boy in. I think it’s at this stage in their lives where they put pressure on each other to have a serious boyfriend. If they don’t succeed with the bad boy, they then turn to the ever ready landing strip who will think that his luck has changed has she comes dashing back into his life as his career is taking off. This is called the marriage zone.... DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET CAUGHT, YOU’RE ONLY ABOUT TO START PEAKING!
I think it’s also imperative to note that girls have 4 main attractors to guys:
- Fame - Not because he’s famous but because his PR drives up his SMV and more girls want him. Simple demand and supply theories.
- Money - Money is means and to girls that means lifestyle. Girls watch the Kardashians, Top Billing and all that stuff and buy into a dream, a guy with money can fulfill. They say money is a man’s plastic surgery)
- Personality – Personality is the ultimate with girls although it’s sad that it takes so much time to actually get here, waaay after our previous attractors have kicked in.
- Looks – good looks can get a guy many one night stands if he can just include 20% personality to keep attention but over the medium run or long run he’ll bore a girl to death and he even won’t count as a sexual encounter. Pretty boys shouldn’t count on looks, you’ll lose to number 3 if he knows what he’s doing. Women are feelers, and personality takes her on an emotional train she gets addicted to. Why do you think women love soapies, the bachelor and other girly reality shows, and novels? (Remember that 50 shades of Gray shit?!!).
When it comes to famous girls however, understand that they have extremely high SMVs but there’s really nothing special about them. Just remember that celebrities are brands, which means that they are concerned about one thing, PR!! Their market and people around them operate with the use of perception. Have you not wondered why these music videos and events of theirs promote them having extremely high SMV’s and as a result unattainable, when the reality is that a vast majority of them get freebies and are actually near broke relative to others (especially in SA). They are normal girls with squared SMVs in their minds but normal nonetheless. Guys just get intimidated and don’t even think they stand a chance and as a result leave them to the higher SMV’d men out there. But I think guys just tend to assume that celebrity girls are the cleanest, can do no wrong and only want to get married. That goes to show just how good their PR campaigns are. They just do their shit under wraps to be honest. I’ve with some highly SMV’d girls and truth be told they are just the same as every other girl. They want a guy to listen and understand them. If you allow a girl the freedom to be herself around you at all times, and I mean that boundary-less type of communication that isn’t defined by time or anything, she’ll stick with you. The same goes for celebrity girls as hot as they are, they also gotta get theirs hey, just keep that in mind. Break them down in your mind and the rest is easy...
To get to a conclusion, the point of all this is for guys to understand that it’s all really about the type of guy you are and what you want. If you wanna play around, play around. If you’re the soft type, make sure you don’t end up as a landing strip (nice guys finish last). Don’t be nice with nice tendencies; be nice with some asshole tendencies, that’s all. Too many guys are getting married to too soon because they fear they will never meet anyone special, and society and church doesn’t help with that either. Don’t be that guy who rushes into marriage too soon before you peak and peak when you’re in your marriage because the thirst will grip you. I don’t know what my thoughts on marriage are but I know that if I get married, I want to have lived and will not cheat on my wife. I understand the idea of marriage and what they tried to achieve and I think you can only achieve that if you make it your own and not allow dogma to decide for you. Give yourself time to peak, let your career take off and enjoy the fullness of yourself. Too many people are incomplete out there and seek others to complete them. Be the shit to you and then find a person who’s the shit to them and then let the shit hit the fan!! There are waaaay too many girls in the world to stress yourself about them now as society wants us to do, remember you peak in your 30s. When girls tell you you’re getting old and must find someone, simply look at her and tell her BITCH IM ABOUT TO PEAK!! Haha (ok the word “bitch” was for dramatic effect) anyway, allow yourself to grow into yourself, be interesting because there are too many boring people in this world and also take the time to understand women and more importantly, their dreams and ambitions and enjoy life and time. Don’t allow another guy to be there for her and her dreams because you will lose. Our biggest problems are always tied to our dreams, and if a guy arrives as a knight in shining armor, I repeat, you WILL LOSE.
If you’re a guy now pursuing a girl or trying to build a life for her to come into, understand that it was never your job to prove your worth to someone else. If they see it they see it, if they don’t, they don’t, don’t be too available. Tell a girl how you feel when it gets insane, if she’s not there for you, just walk away. It’s imperative that you always understand and operate under your worth. Remember you haven’t peaked yet whereas she has. So all the girls who are basically stressing us out right now have highly lowered SMV’s whereas yours is about to take off, don’t forget that. This also applies to girls you’ve lost and maybe want to get back. Listen to Drake’s “Club Paradise”, he says “They say that all your old girls got somebody new...” Your old girls will move on, they’ll still think about you and how you used to make them feel but that is it. You’re entering your peak now and should never focus on getting back with an ex lover especially out of fear of not loving someone else. In fact never get back with an ex who wants you back, they tried to do better than you but couldn’t. So focus on you and your shit and that’s all you should really focus on, the universe is at work, you’ll always be able to find someone, even at 50 because you’re a guy! You only have one life and all you have to do is enjoy this shit nothing else....
*Share if you think it’ll help our fellow soldiers out there*
[Rather we live!!]
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