Changes...

They say that change is constant & I’ve always liked to take time to analyze all these things that ‘they’ say because I sometimes feel that we blindly accept things simply because ‘they’ said it but hey this is not the time to go that route. 

I sit everyday with my shisha/hookah/hubbly pipe smoking and pondering on anything my mind defines as interesting to us (My mind and I). I have the best thoughts when I’m smoking that thing actually. Today the big thought happened to be that behind the concept of change. I looked back at all the changes that have happened in my life that have chiseled me to be the person I am today writing and doing all the things I do, that affect the world. I believe the more changes that happen to a person, the more he/she becomes. In fact let me rather say that the more changes a person [allows] to happen to him/her the more they become (I’ll explain why later). We are all perfect pieces of growing clay at birth but take form according to life’s principles and time. So basically, life is the Michelangelo and we are the clay. 

My life has been the most exhilarating roller-coaster ride I could’ve asked for filled with speed, screams, twists and turns.  Forget the things I’ve had to go through, it’s the things I threw myself into that actually make me laugh. It is no secret that we are not given the manual to life at birth, instead we are forced to figure this thing out second by second, moment for moment. It kind of sucks because you’re the forced to go through so many good times and shit times that sometimes don’t make sense to us really. I read a powerful quote the other day that went: “Sometimes the person you’d take a bullet for is the same person that has their finger on the trigger” and it got me thinking. I looked back at how many times people had forced me to change because of the triggers they had pulled. Sometimes I was Neo from the Matrix, but other times, I was just that guy who got shot and was now bleeding beautifully.   

Nobody tells you when you start life that the friends you’d do anything for, would be same ones that back stab you or betray you. Nobody tells you that the girls you said you loved are the same ones that can say it back and yet take you for granted in pursuit of some momentary feeling elsewhere. Nobody tells you that the girl you’d do anything for is the same girl who’d never know or notice until it’s too late. Nobody tells you.  You just figure it out when you get there. Drake said it perfectly in “Fireworks” when he said: “All in all I learnt a lesson from it though, you never see it coming, you just get to see it go.”

I’ve suffered several broken hearts and I laugh when I look back at them, well only because I’ve realized that after I chose to walk away, they wanted me back quite adamantly. I mean I know that I’m not an easy guy to get over, I’m rather epic! Hahaha I mean who wants be gotten over quickly?? NOBODY!! But anyway I’ve also caused a couple of broken hearts, so I guess I had my karma party. They say that a girl’s laughter means way more than a guy’s laughter and that a guy’s tears mean way more than a girl’s tears.  Yes I’ve shed tears at the sword of a girl's actions & I think the worst part is that she/they probably never knew. Perhaps my heart was too ready to love back then but hey. I feel I’m rather un-dateable now because I change and experience so much in a short space of time & I think girls have always craved stability from me which I could never seem to readily provide. I’m just a guy on his own mission & I guess I’m also afraid of getting hurt again so I’m extremely selective regarding who I let close to me. I'm quite a loner actually, this is basically me ----> 

I also think I had the most interesting varsity/college experience too. I had fun dropping into classes I wasn’t registered for because I was so fascinated by some classes. I changed my institutions as well as my majors so many times, and as much as people and my parents took it as suspect, I really was irritated at how we live in such a vast planet and have to limit it to so few possibilities when in my mind the possibilities were always and still are rather endless. I mean these people were trying to make me one thing when I was and wanted to be so much more. I remember being so frustrated with the way people went on that I decided to try change something random in my life by simply changing the way I looked at things and decided to teach my left hand how to write. 6 months later my left hand could write neater than my right hand and I answered an exam question or 2 in my final year with the use of my left hand. I had a magical experience during that exam that I will always hold dear to my heart. 

Change is what we’re here for. That’s why we love movies and all these things because we’re taken through a journey of someone’s changes. I mean have you ever looked at your Facebook pictures or status updates from back in the day and just marveled at how you used to dress and the stuff you’d say. I mean I’m ALWAYS shocked!! I’d be sitting there thinking “WHAAAAAAAT?!!!” haha! This is how I [used] to dress in 2009.....

 I’m addicted to change now and when I thought of why, I came up with a rather fascinating equation:

The equation follows the normal equation rule, in that it always has to balance.

To start off, we need to define the quantitative variables:

-       -   The numerator, “Experience” is a real number with the range going from 1 to infinity. The denominator, “Denial” is also a real number with the range going from 1 to infinity and can never be zero for obvious grade 6 mathematical reasons. 

-        -  “Change” is an endogenous variable meaning it is variable that must be solved for and is thus not a readily given value.

-          -“Experience” and “Denial” are exogenous variables, which mean they are given and inputted into the equation as is at the user’s discretion. 

The equation at face value says that change is directly proportional to experience and inversely proportional to denial. But we have to go into detail with this to understand it further. 

- Experiences come in 2 forms: Unintentional (the things that just happen to you) and Intentional (the things you choose to experience). You can never choose the unintentional experiences you encounter in life, they simply just happen to you. It’s never your fault or your doing remember that, and if they don’t kill you, they simply make you stronger or fuck you up a bit I guess. The intentional experiences are truly the beauty of life I think. These are the things life is made up of and these are the ones that make you wise and that interesting person at a dinner table. You immediately know a person who’s had a lot of these intentional experiences when you meet them. They’ve either travelled a lot or simply have a lot of stories about things they’ve experienced, & I love people like that.

- Denial is simply denial. 

Change is we said is endogenous, and whenever/however a person changes, the way they view reality ultimately becomes different. 

Now how the equation works is rather cool (since I came up with it myself lol)... 

A person changes the more experiences he comes across whether they are intentional or unintentional. A person who embraces and can adapt to change is a more alive human being because he is one who’s allowed more deliberate experiences to happen his life. To me, variety is intelligence and eventual wisdom.

A person changes less the more he denies his experiences. We are all not perfect and it’s sometimes OK to go through things and be in disbelief but we sometimes hold onto things and live in denial and as result stop the process of change. Sometimes we know something is right for us yet we deny it wholly and carry on believing that it is not, mostly because of some fear we have derived from the past or the unknown. They say that the heart just knows though. People who fear change are people who live in constant denial of themselves, their surroundings and the truth. Change is a scary concept because it forces you to face the truth, and we all know that the truth will set you free but will piss you off first. Lao Tzu said: “Mighty is he who can conquer others, but even mightier is he that has conquered himself,” and having said that we see that the less a person denies to himself, the more he changes. In other words, since acceptance is the polar opposite of denial, the more a person accepts things and is true to himself, the more he changes hence I used the words “allow” for change earlier.  (Told you the equation is cool)... 

Another interesting fact to notice is that the change one derives from his experiences is divided by the amount he chooses to deny. So if he denies a lot, his experiences change him less whereas if he denies less i.e. accepts his stimuli/experiences more, the more he then changes. 

To change the way you view reality i.e. to change an aspect in your life or even your entire life, you first have to accept the truth of your unhappiness with the current situation. Then you have to add an entirely new experience to your life for the change to occur. If a person wants to lose weight, one must accept they are overweight and then go on to add a diet and workout plan to their lives and have the change take effect over time. If a person hates their job, one must first accept that they hate their job and want something else which means they then have to quit or find something else but nothing will change unless they actively do something about their own life. Too many people wait for life to happen to them and never even attempt anything new. Thomas Edison said it perfectly by saying: “Discontent is the beginning of progress.” Sometimes all you need is to add or subtract one element in your life to change everything. You don’t always need some a huge new philosophy or New Year’s resolution to change things because those are the things most people quit simply because it’s too much too soon for the mind to like, a sort of life/mental inertia happens. There is the universal law of cause and effect that is always at play in life and if you want a certain effect, you have to create the necessary active cause in order to have the desired effect (you reap what you sow). The universal law of Gestation (waiting period) will take care of the rest; all you need to do is be patient. I changed my life and I’m going to keep doing so because that change shit is rather fun; it allows you to use your mind in ways you never knew you could. And no I’m not saying it’s easy, but I’m also not saying it’s impossible. Mathematician Carl Menger, who lived in the 1800’s, said that human beings are the consumers of pain and pleasure and I think it’s easier to accept change from pleasure than it is to change from acceptance of pain but ya...

I’ve learnt to embrace my experiences and therefore my changes and have come to the conclusion that one cannot experience everything in life and it then means it comes down to choices. I’ve leant that it’s very important to align yourself with the right people that you feel are going to experience or are experiencing what you want to experience. I decided that I simply want to be addicted to the simple experiences that make me human. Life is all about having fun and I think the only way to have fun is to keep things simple, because once you complicate things you lose their true essence as Aristotle said. I just want to be alive with laughter, life, love and yes even pain. So in that regard I’ve allowed myself to embrace and adapt to changes. Life is simply too beautiful and short to deny the things that the heart and the senses were originally built for. Trying to be too logical, fast and perfect with life will steal the beauty that’s simply and always right in front of you. It’s all about taking your time and making a lot of YOU decisions especially in your 20s!

I love change, I love life, I love all you people, I love being here and I love being able to share this gift I’ve been given with everyone out there and I think that’s what matters most to me. I’m ready for more change as turbulent as the past couple of months have been in my life. All that matters is that I’m having fun with this life thing and it reminds me of something my musically talented friend said to me this week and I think I’ll leave you with it and a song I absolutely love by Drake and one by John Mayer....

“I’ve gotten used to living a life that confirms the things I ultimately want.” – Vini Gege, @ViniGege

Drake – “Over my dead body”

John Mayer - "New Deep"

Oh this is how I dress now hey ---> 

Thank goodness not all was lost... Rather we live & change!