Thursday, 12 June 2014

Confidence VS Arrogance


Ok this is one of those posts of mine where I choose to educate or blow the lid on some unexplored truth which leaves some of you people in the world with your jaws dropped on some “He did not just say that?!!?” hahaha just kidding! But before we go that route I’d like to thank everyone out there who has responded from my blogs and even E-mailed me telling me to keep writing, my blog is on 14000 views now and I guess you guys all contributed to that so thank you for passing my stuff on. Carla in France, Steve in Cyprus and Sarah in New York, I’m glad that my posts clarified certain things for you guys and that I could help restore your energy and drive because being great certainly isn’t easy. I shall be in New York City from the 15th to the 19th of September and the UK the following month so hopefully I can have coffee and a shot of something interesting with some of you guys when I’m there so just holla! 

Before we carry on I have to do my disclaimer thing for the sensitive people out there so without further a due; 

Disclaimer: Extremely low amounts of bullshit are found in this article. Not for sensitive readers, if you’re sensitive & love bullshit then stop reading!!

So once again human beings have been themselves and allowed something totally important to go unquestioned and unnoticed. A lot of people will tell me that I’m stubborn, arrogant, egotistical or whatever and I always laugh about it but then I ended up thinking about it while I was doing the number 2 the other day and the universe did its thing with me in the bathroom lol! (Stop thinking “eeeew GROSS!!” I actually don’t know why people like to act like they don’t take a shit often. Yes you do so chill!!) Anyway let’s start off with several pictures... 







Interesting pictures hey?? Anyway, the pictures say a lot about life and our generation today. We are all different yet what I’ve noticed is that we tend to ridicule those who we feel are not like us simply because they are not like us. Those we consider below our statue, we undermine and those we consider above us in society, we either look up to or hate on. It’s true that’s what we humans do. It’s like how they say everyone who drives slower than you is stupid and everyone who drives faster than you is a lunatic. When did you become the standard? When did you become the unit by which we measure where society should ultimately be positioned? Yup it’s always about that person in the mirror even if we never want to admit it and prefer to hide behind all the bullshit we keep re-fuelling ourselves with all day every day. My stance however is simple, I stopped caring about all these things society holds in high regard, I took a walk one day and needless to say, my pockets had holes and a lot of fucks I had fell out. By the time I realized it, it was too late, someone probably picked up all my previous fucks and now I’m rather feckless but hey. I find us as a society too interesting, I’ve decided I have no stake in the outcome and don’t fear anything or anyone anymore because I’m really here to do what I have to and have fun but let’s not side track... 


What is confidence and what is arrogance? Girls like saying that there’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance as if there’s some border control where confidence land ends and arrogance land begins and you need your passport and visa to get through so because of that let’s just unpack these 2 heavy words for a bit and see what we come up with. 

  • The word confidence originates from the Latin word “confidere” which means to have full trust. This was later turned into the word “confidentia” which meant to be reliable, trustworthy and dependable which we got our word “confidential” from. The original meaning of confidence is literally "to have trust or have faith in an object or person". We use words like “Confide” in someone and a “Confidant” not knowing they are directly linked to our favourite word confidence. People will be upset with you and say: “You betrayed my confidence” so the word was never about a character trait but it evolved to be so and to speak about ability and since we don’t like history we just accepted it as a part of our lives. 
  • The word Arrogant originates from the Latin word “Arrogare” which means to “ask” or “question” which then was used to make the word “Arrogate,” which meant to claim without justification around the 13th century. The French then turned it into “Arrogance” as we know it today because they were in their French revolution thingy and were pretty serious about themselves and it has now just become a part of our lives.
Sorry...They were saying there’s a thin line between arrogance and confidence??????? Hahaha lets continue... Time for my amazing thoughts!

So I shall now differentiate between confidence and arrogance using nothing but common sense... I’m going to start off by defining and describing it, and then I will extrapolate its uses. Bear in mind that I am arrogant and so will naturally be bias towards it because that’s who I am but I will try to explain it all in a nice way.

Confidence

Confidence is that feeling you have when you know you can do something. It relates to a skill or talent that is either given or obtained and then honed somehow. People will ask you: “How confident are you with Microsoft Excel” or “How confident are you with people.” It has to do with a trust or reliability in someone or their ability to do something. Confidence is what people can grade you with. Society likes confidence because we all understand it and it is not threatening. Confidence does not disturb the order nor is it a problem. People are simply warm to confidence because it knows how to stick to rules and the boundaries. It is usable and requires a pat on the back once in awhile to know that it has done a good job. Before you write an exam, someone will ask you: “dude how confident are you about the work” and what they are really asking you is how close are you to knowing everything, because let’s face it, school was really about memory regurgitation. So confidence plays by the rules. Confident people make good employees and are normally good at whatever they do and are liked by everyone around them so as to promote the “corporate culture” whatever that is. They are seldom discouraged and wont simply quit on you as long as they feel appreciated and acknowledged. 


Arrogance

“When you find out who you are, nobody impresses you.”

Now confidence is one of those 10 in 1 words with many uses. I guess they figured it rolls off the tongue so well that they should use it for everything but this is where it stops. They went as far as realizing they needed a word for a confidence in one’s self and not just in one’s ability and called that “self-confidence” but that’s where they went wrong. Self-Confidence is arrogance! Remember arrogance initially meant to question or asks things. Naturally when someone asks or question things he/she will seek those answers regardless of the consequences. The word then was used as arrogate to make big claims which was seen as unwelcome because people have always been more about tangibility than intangibility. 

Arrogance is not the trust in one’s ability; it is the trust in one’s self. This means that an arrogant person must then have a pretty good idea of whom/what his/her “self” is all about. Arrogant people are the kinds of people other people simply love to watch because of the thrill in seeing that person bend the rules and do things everyone else would be too afraid to do. These are the kinds of people everyone secretly admires and just wishes they were but once again, can’t be. The “Harvey Spectors” of the series “Suits” and the “Iron mans” of world. Arrogant people aren’t liked by society because they are threatening and they disturb order. They ask and question almost everything because why must they accept everything? These are the people that feel they are and can do better than everyone else around them who are happy with whatever they get because they don’t see why they have to be like everyone else. They aren’t liked because they are unpredictable. To feel good about themselves they then go out to prove true the big claims they made to simply silence the people that said it was impossible, just to see them keep their mouths shut. I guess that’s the prize they get that compensates for not being liked by society.  


Arrogant people you want to keep and get rid off because they are sooo good at what they do but you’d probably end up firing them along the line because they will quickly feel superior to everyone in the work place and mess with the “corporate culture” and what not. Just think of Achilles from my favourite movie Troy. 

Who are you?? 

Now I want to go further and separate this apparently “thin” line between our 2 favourite words... 

  • ·         Confidence is the shit you need to go to Idols or X Factor and try sing to some apparently great judges who you allow to either praise or ridicule you. Confidence gets you through the door because you trust you ability to sing or dance. Arrogance is the shit you need to say fuck Idols, I’m going to write my own song, find a producer, save up money for studio time and record my shit regardless of how my voice sounds because I’m willing to take a bet on myself. 
  • ·         Confidence is the shit that makes you keep and update a CV for future job prospects, arrogance is the shit that makes you forget there’s a thing called Curriculum Vitae and you somehow feel you already are a walking CV.
  • ·         Confidence is the shit that allows you to be happy in an unhappy situation because you can hold out longer in hope for better which is always a possibility. People who feel underpaid are arrogant because they overvalue their abilities and have no thought about the fact that if they are paid more than everyone else, then everyone else must also be paid more. They don’t care, it’s all about them, they’ll quit job after job and go look for something else the moment you tell them that you won’t pay them more.
  • ·         Confidence is that shit you need to be a celebrity and walk red carpets thinking you look good wearing someone else’s Italian sounding design. Arrogance is the shit that tells you that you know you’re a great actor and simply wear your jeans, T shirt and slops to the same red carpet event because you know that it only matters when cameras roll on set, everything else is pretentious and what these people do to keep entertained.
  • ·         Confidence is the shit that allows you to be liked by people because they can understand and quantify you and you care about who follows you back on Twitter and Instagram. Arrogance is the shit that makes you disregard who you follow back on Twitter or Instagram because why must you follow everyone who follows you? Think about it, if you follow everyone who follows you, where on earth are you guys going then?? Nowhere!
  • ·         Confidence is the shit you need to get that amazing job. Arrogance is the shit you need to be great and create your own job. Nobody remembers confident people sadly but it doesn’t mean everyone should and wants to be remembered. If you feel you can do things better out there than other people, or you can pick out a lot of flaws or mistakes in simple things or people, you’re arrogant.
  • ·         Confidence is the shit you need to make it in society and find love. Arrogance is the shit you need to go further and learn shit you won’t learn elsewhere to make your own way although love won’t be one of those easy things you gravitate towards because arrogant people are attractive but selfish.
  • ·         Confidence is the shit you need to think. Arrogance is the shit you need to think big!
  • ·         Confidence is the shit that you need to pitch an idea to someone. Arrogance is the shit you need to carry on going even if you fail at the moment. 
  • ·         Confident take their abilities seriously whereas arrogant people take themselves seriously. A confident person is confined to the times where that skill is relevant whereas if you take an arrogant person back in time, he’ll simply find a way to take himself seriously there, read his Art of war and take on that era.

Note: Confidence is not that thing you need to bungee jump off a bridge or jump out a plane. That is courage. Whenever the obstacle is fear, which is in the mind, then the required pass is confidence. Whenever the obstacle is danger which is real, then the required pass is courage. Whenever the obstacle is you, then the pass and outcome is arrogance. 



To conclude I want to say you have to know what your ultimate outcome in life is and accept it. We’re not all meant to be remembered and we are also not all meant to be forgotten. The arrogant side of things looks cooler because once again we love those kinds of people hence why they are great or we are inspired, moved and entertained by them. It’s all about being comfortable in whatever you do and being happy about it. This thing of lying to ourselves must stop. There’s nothing wrong with being an employee or average or whatever as long as you’re happy. The problem comes when you’re not happy in which case you have to do something about it or you really are taking your life for granted.  



The truth is that right now we are all corporate slaves and yes even entrepreneurs because we’ve accepted money as a means to trade stuff. None of us are really free, those who have more money have more freedom but they are not free. Freedom is expensive as cheap as it may seem. The only free people are the ones who are in some jungle somewhere and don’t care about this “greatness” we’ve created that simply works for a very few and excludes the rest. 

I have accepted myself as being someone who’s very sure of me because my ultimate goal /outcome require me to be. I’m a dreamer and visionary and therefore do not only think but also operate out of the box. I’m here to change, create, fix and improve shit and my ultimate outcome means that I will not be liked by many people for the way I think or the way I do things as I do and I’ve accepted that and am happy with it. My purpose is greater than my desire to be liked by society. So it really comes down to accepting me and the fact that I’m forced to know the shit I claim to know and then produce results. It’s the curse of great people and no person who was ever great was ever humble, being humble is that way you act when you get some stroke of luck that many are deprived of like winning a competition or the lottery or inheriting millions, and you know you didn’t deserve it at all. If you worked hard to get to where you are you can’t be humble because it wasn’t a surprise that you got there, you decided to go there against all odds and you got yourself there. You can’t be humble whenever you conquer your inner demons and accept ridicule in your pursuit to do what you want to do because let’s face it, some people are so vast within themselves that the only way they can express themselves is to create something other than themselves to walk alongside them. At the end of life people will only have themselves to face and expressive people are going to be there with their creations and bid them farewell and leave them behind to affect the rest of the quantum time. Whether they are musicians or inventors, they are controlled by a force that we cannot understand but they know they just have to do whatever they’re compelled to do. Let’s face it, the world doesn’t teach you to trust yourself but teaches you to doubt yourself and put labels on everything to a point where u need things like religion and stuff just to feel ok or worthy with your life. Telling you, you’re a sinner and forcing us to say things to ourselves like: “I’m human” or “I’m not perfect or whatever”. If you argue your limitations, you get to keep them and you’ll be arguing and feeling inferior till u die. I’m from South Africa and that doesn’t mean anything less to me, maybe it just means that in Africa we play the game of life on hard mode but that’s why if you can do something great or innovate in Africa, you can do it anywhere in the world. So I’m here to inspire a generation and show them that anything is possible regardless of what your apparent limitation should be.
Like I said, my purpose here is bigger than my desire to be liked or accepted by people; life is just bigger than that. So I call myself perfect with all my flaws and strengths because I refuse to accept that I’m inferior, incomplete, a mistake or some sort of sinner. I am a beautiful creation just the way I am and love myself to bits. I look at the world, see the turmoil around me knowing I can help fix it somehow and instead of waiting for something to happen or a saviour, I think “Nobody is coming back, God sent you, and so be a force for them!” So if people call me arrogant then so be it, I’ve faced and conquered my demons and I guess I’m one of those lunatics that drive faster than everybody else on the road.


All that matters is that every day of my life I have fun and I’m happy, life is too beautiful to allow oneself to be bored for a moment, and I think we have the afterlife to be bored and all spiritual, but for now, I’m here to have fun and fuck shit up with a smile loll! So Rather we live!!!  



To close off; THERE IS NO THIN LINE BETWEEN CONFIDENCE AND ARROGANCE, THE 2 ARE DIFFERENT IN ORIGIN, MEANING, USE and OUTCOME! (((BOOOOOOM)))))  


Here’s a few Drake songs and 3 by Eminem that go with this post... and then a link to my favourite feel good song now by Mr Probz called “waves remix” ...

Drake – Headlines
Drake – 0-100/Catch up
Eminem – “Legacy”
Eminem – “Sing for the moment”
Drake – “Pound Cake/Paris Morton Music 2
Eminem – “I’m not afraid”


Life is about expression and you're only here once, so express yourself now while celebrating every goal or milestone with people that matter. We are partying tomorrow and these are my game changing friends I plan to introduce you guys to. 
On the left is me, @Lui_innovator, Middle, @Khayski and right @ViniGege



  Thank you Universe...









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